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- Tired of trying to define and find balance? Get in the flow with the "river of well-being"
Tired of trying to define and find balance? Get in the flow with the "river of well-being"
Life is a river between chaos and rigidity
I used to be a perfectionist micromanager.
Even after burning out, I was convinced there was some magical solution to my challenges. I searched for the "answers" to my productivity, technology, and leadership questions for YEARS.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that this image from The Whole-Brain Child changed my life and became the foundation for just about everything I do.
from The Whole Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
". . . one extreme is chaos, where there's a total lack of control. The other extreme is rigidity, where there's too much control, leading to a lack of flexibility and adaptability . . . The longer we can avoid either bank, the more time we spend enjoying the river of well-being."
When I realized I was a micromanager, I was devastated. I swore to do better and dedicated myself to learning how to be a better leader. But I became too permissive and wasn't effective - bouncing from one metaphorical river bank to the other.
The path for the type of leader I wanted to be was somewhere in the middle. But where precisely? Exactly in the middle? Slightly to the left? What about the right? How would I know if I was on the correct path?
Balance is a myth. Something you strive for, but never actually achieve.
Letting go of the need for certainty actually helped me achieve more clarity. I'm never going to be able to stay in the exact middle of the river for long, but that's ok. I'll just keep making minor course corrections so I don't end up crashed on the riverbank.
I highly recommend The Whole Brain Child to anyone who wants to increase their self-awareness and emotional intelligence (even if you're not a parent - I'm not!)
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